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I am a 37 year old female who is an identical twin, an Aunt to Melissa, a surrogate “Aunt Donni” to Tyler, a fitness and exercise enthusiast, a strong and optimistic person ... Read more

Soul Music


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Gaining Awareness

Trying to understand from an intellectual viewpoint
What triggers set me off, what cocks my emotions, what common joint

I try and try and spin my wheels
Figuring it out, by myself, head over heels

On my knees, pray for answer, for a solution.
Beat myself up, judge harshly, just evokes more disparate emotion.

Magnifying glasses, microscope, attempt to identify cause
Finally take deep breath, pause

Perhaps my struggle is searching instead of accepting
The road would be much shorter, validation internal, no more rejecting

Fault removed from self, responsibility and willingness to adapt is mine
Past no longer trapped, sun begins to shine

Storm of emotions, lightning first followed by thunders clap
Not excuse, but insight, my journey's map

Erupt in joy do I, for hope is reborn,
External validation not withheld, no more "You're overreacting", now reject others scorn

There is a theory, a plausible basis
From understanding biosocial premise will move forward a thousand paces

Impelled by emotions, and hypersensitive to those negative stimuli
Flipside, passion and intense joy, radiate from within I

Feel the physical sensations, pluses and minuses, in my chest
Only diferenece is flow of direction, cognizant of this, I'll do my best

First seen as a curse
My behaviors, out of control, self-harming at their worse

Replanted this miracle gro seed of thought
Watered daily, skills fertilize, Radical Acceptance, Wise Mind, I sought.

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